The Joys of driving in India(and the amazing reflexes that you get)!
One of the most happiest days in my life was when i got my driving licence at 18. It mean freedom, responsibility, power, thrill, convenience, adventure, and running out of savings — all in one shot!
While i have driven in many countries, nothing beats the thrill of driving in India. The driving in other countries, though pleasant was………predictable!
You develop amazing levels of patience, super sharp reflexes, negotiation skills, foresight/prescience, muscles, fitness, friends, enemies, enhanced driving skills and much more! Sound impossible? Let me tell you how.
The ‘Time for my morning walk’ folks:
No matter what time of the day it is, these folks would be on a leisurely stroll to cross the road. They do know you exist, with your gnashing teeth and revving engine — but they hardly give a damn. One honk, and you earn their ire and scornful looks as if you just ruined their siesta!
The ‘Naked baby crossing’:
Out of nowhere, there would be kids crossing the road. An innocuous looking munching-something kid on the side, would suddenly dart to the middle of the road and if you hadn’t seen him from the corner of your eye, then all the best for your health and survival!
The ‘My dad owns this road’ motorists:
Usage of rear view mirrors is seldom for traffic, they are used more for checking your make-up, setting your hair and for checking out good-looking members of the opposite (or same) sex. Indicators do not indicate anything and neither do they turn to check for vehicles. The driving is as random ad molecules hitting around when heated. You will have to estimate his travel path, however zig-zag it may be, to avoid hitting him. In case a gentle bump does happen — it becomes a ‘people with car’ Vs. ‘People without’ socioeconomic debate and you know the probable outcome!
The ‘Animal Kingdom’:
Dogs, cows, goats, snakes,cats, hen, ducks, buffalos, elephants, camels — these are many more are spotted on Indian roads. Fondly called as ‘Brake Inspectors’, the buffalos and cows test your brakes and braking skills to the screech. What more, your horns and honks do not matter to theirs as they amble across and settle down for cud-chewing bang in the middle of the road!
The ‘Opposites attract’ folks:
Very often, you will find people coming in the opposite direction, so much so that you will doubt whether you have changed countries overnight or whether you are driving on the wrong side of the road. People find it hard to go 500 meters to the nearest U-turn and hence save time, fuel and energy by driving in the opposite direction — and at full speed!
The ‘Rules are to be broken’ folks:
Red is just another colour in the traffic light as they whizz through the junctions. You start 5 seconds early and continue for 5 seconds after the lights change, getting a full 10 seconds of extra time! When everyone does it, you know the pandemonium that results!
The ‘road is my dumpyard’ folks:
Cigarette butts, plastic wrappers, used bottles, food, fruit peels, garbage bags — you can expect anything dumped on the roads. The fun is when the dumping takes place from a higher altitude — people traveling in buses and trucks.
Once we laughed our way to tears on seeing a biker getting completely drenched by a waterfall of puke from poor kid in a bus who was nauseous after crossing a hilly path. The kid, relived, could only cast a blissful smile at the furious biker!
The ‘Roads in the middle of potholes’:
Though India can boast of some very fine expressways and highways, we still have roads that exist between potholes. The value of power steering and the power in your arms are evident when you evade left, right and center while trying avoid hitting potholes, people, animals and fellow motorists!
And yes, you can survive without your brakes, but not without your horn!
That’s why, perhaps, you have Indians among the highest driving test success rates in other countries. Because, if you can drive in India — you can drive anywhere!
